I was intrigued by the Dark Brotherhood. Personally, I think everyone is, but I didn’t know if I wanted to get involved. I was a Companion and I enjoyed it. I was also a member of the Thieves Guild… but that was simply for the armor. Plus I had been attacked twice by two lame Brotherhood assassins, both with marked contacts on me.
Who would honestly think to assassinate the Dragonborn? Seriously? I kill dragons and eat their souls. You would think that would intimidate anyone. Hell, dragon souls don’t even really taste that great, and frankly all of the shouts are a little rough on my throat.
But back to my point…
I checked out that kid Aventus Aretino in Windhelm. Personally I think he’s a little demented. It’s not every day you walk into some kid’s home and see them curled over a bloody scene chanting the Black Sacrament. Who wouldn’t be morbidly curious about that? Unfortunately, the kid thought I was part of the Dark Brotherhood and begged me to kill some old hag at an orphanage in Riften.
Grelod the Kind, he called her. I figured I’d at least play along and get more information. I had the vow set in my head: I wouldn’t kill an innocent person. And I figured that when I got to the orphanage, this Grelod would simply be a struggling old woman running an orphanage.
Needless to say, I killed her. She was nasty and smelled like moth balls, and it made the kids happy. And that’s all that matters right? Making children happy. Even though it was a little freaky that they’d be ecstatic over the brutal death of someone, even if it was someone like Grelod. You’d also think that Constance Michel would have been thrilled to get rid of the old woman, but she simply started running into walls in panic. Literally.
With that done, I went to bed. And woke up in a shack (drunk party gone wrong? I did enjoy the Bee and Barb). I thought it was a spider sitting in front of me, but it was really some freaky woman that sounded like she inhaled too much smoke from a mage’s fireball staff. She was pleased that Grelod was dead, but since that Aretino child performed the Black Sacrament, she demanded that a debt be paid for the kill that was stolen from the Dark Brotherhood.
Fultheim the Fearless, Alea Quintus, and a cat name Vasha were tied up behind me. There was a contract out on one of their lives, and I had to figure out which one it was and kill them. I killed the cat. He wasn’t too nice to me, even when I threatened to end his life. Plus he smelled bad.
…And I was initiated into the Dark Brotherhood. I’ve assassinated a few people, but ultimately, I think I may just build a time machine and go back to kill that Astrid chick instead. These people are insane.