Note: Warning for strong language. But what the hell… this is the video game community. Shit exists and no one’s afraid to spread it! 😉
I need to get a massive post-it note to stick on my wall just above my computer monitor that says, “This shit is supposed to be fun!” And then I need to stare at it, and keep staring, and keep staring, and then realize… that there is no meaning to creativity if you don’t enjoy creating it. The same goes for writing about video games. I’ve talked to other people in my shoes and 95% of them complain about the fact that they write about games more than they play them. And when they are playing video games… they’re thinking about how they can make a story out of it. I’ve discovered that I’m existing in the same place.
It’s not always a bad thing! There’s nothing quite as satisfying as finishing a post, even when it’s an unorganized mess of ranting like this one. As a writer it’s essential to be constantly writing! There’s nothing wrong with that. That’s just how our minds work. Because when we’re not writing, we’re reading… or we’re thinking about it. We survive in our own little isolated bubble and that’s just fine and dandy for us. We know where we belong… at least until the real world butts in.
That’s where the issues exist– in that nasty place where men and women in ties tell you that you need to be doing something useful. You need to be working downtown in 9-5 days with a husband and a plan for babies in the future. Or you need to be doing something other than writing about video games because video games aren’t useful. Right? Because I’m not productively spending my time unless I’m standing on swollen feet inside of a warehouse that sees me as an expendable number. Video games aren’t important. Or maybe I could earn more respect if I was writing actual news.
Maybe I’m just displaying naivety, but this is important. I want to wake up in the morning and not feel the pain and depression that the outside world delivers. Sometimes I want to distract myself, wrap myself around the chaotic problems of magical characters. That’s when I remember exactly why I love doing what I’m doing. Because talking about the line up of PS4 games actually makes me excited for my future. Because writing a review makes me appreciate the work put into a game. I may enter a million unread job applications to IGN and never once step a foot inside their office, but I can sure as hell imagine what kind of life I could make for myself in San Francisco if I did work there.
Because even if it might not ever work out for me personally, I know that it’s possible. Even inside all of the nasty competition and corrupted connections, there are golden moments that make you feel like, “Hey, maybe this could work out!” But at the root of it all– beneath all of the wishes and fantasies and rare successes– all of this started because I picked up a video game controller and had fun.
This is supposed to be fun. Writing is supposed to be fun. Talking with people for a podcast episode, even when it’s full of lame mistakes and awkward pauses, is supposed to be fun.
I think I just needed a reminder. And maybe some of you needed one too. ❤